Tuesday, 16 April 2013

The Ups and Downs of it...

(A re-done edited version of an old People Mag column)

Someone asked me the other day, “How much sex is too much?” And I jokingly replied, “I’ll let you know when I get there.”
I'm lucky. Working hasn’t affected my non-professional sex-life in any way at all (except in the positive). I still enjoy sex as much as always and have found, through my work, a whole bunch of new and exciting things to do and try but, when I thought about it a bit more, I did come up with something.
Now, I bet you’re probably thinking I'm gonna say something about “too much” being in a walking-like-a-cowboy-can’t-sit-comfortably-for-a-week kind of way, but I wouldn’t refer to that sort of sex like that at all – I mean, that might make it seem like I thought that was a bad thing… No, I’m thinking about those times where one hour seems to go for three and I just can’t wait for it to end.
Let me first clarify and make something very clear, it’s never about the client’s looks, experience, size (be it cock or body), or things like that at all. I never have, and never will judge anyone on those superficial and aesthetic things. No, the times when it really just gets too much has only ever come down to one or two things, and when I say come down… Well, I guess you could say that’s one of them.
Again, let me explain and be very very clear, I’m not talking about the problems some men have with impotence and premature ejaculation. That's a very real issue and one I spend a lot of time talking to people about, giving advice on and suggesting tricks and techniques and products to use and I would never look at that circumstance in such a selfish or negative way. I know how bloody frustrating it is for guys who have to deal with that situation. Also, I’m not even talking about the guys who have been out on the piss (or other stimulants) all night, and are having a communication breakdown between their top and bottom brains – I gotta tell you, it’s usually more their breath than their boner that’s the problem. No, it's none of these things at all. They happen. It's life. But, what I am talking about is when those guys, for whatever reason (medical issues, substance based, stress or emotionally caused), lose the moment halfway through but then completely refuse to accept it.
Like I've said, I know sometimes it goes soft and that’s okay, shit happens. Sometimes it comes back (Yippee!!) and sometimes it doesn’t (Aw bummer) but if, unfortunately, it doesn’t come back then I’m sorry, but sex is just not going to work. It just isn't.
Like any self-respecting nympho I have a very strict condom rule. If it’s not on, it’s not on, and unfortunately if it’s not up then you can’t get it on, or keep it on if it happens halfway through. A limp cock in a condom is a very ineffective tool and there’s nothing worse than when a guys tries to keep using it.
It’s like trying to thread cooked spaghetti through a needle. Not only is it a virtually impossible task but it’s also one I cannot see the purpose of at all. He just gets frustrated and pissed off at himself as he awkwardly and unsuccessfully tries to push it inside me which, to be honest, feels horribly like a loosely wrapped slug being pressed against me. To make things just a little bit worse, those people who know me know I have a rather horrid (if not somewhat ridiculous) fear of slugs and so the whole sensation and thought of it just makes it all that much worse.
But really, it’s that stubborn refusal to give up and admit that it’s not going to work that frustrates me the most and makes it endlessly tedious.
Seriously, guys, there are so many other things we could be doing that are way more fun and sexy rather than getting yourself all worked up and upset and stressed out about “doing it”. And not only that. I mean, aside from my own personal exasperation and boredom, it just seems like a waste of your money.
So, ironically, I suppose what I’m saying is the times it’s been a bit too much, is when there’s not been too much of anything at all!


  1. a horrible problem. been there a few times, and as soon as the mind picks up there may be a problem that's all you can think about (get anxious) which just makes it worse and the sex unenjoyable. best to take the focus off the penis, back on just having fun and chances are things'll get back on track!

  2. Yes exactly!
    The issue with me has nothing to do with the "issue"... It's the refusal to accept it and do something else.
    Like you said, the more you think about it and worry, the less likely it is it will come back...

  3. Escort resorts we are located in the Dominican Republic sitting right on the beach of the north-coast. Our exotic resort is a high end villa with several private bungalows right on the beach next to the swimming pool.

  4. I think your right on target. Acceptance is the better side of the coin, and half way to discovering the cause(s) and sorting problem out.

  5. I think you experience person for this matter. I read you blog carefully right and practical knowledge here.


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