The Problem With ProLube... Or, Do You Even Vagina, Bro?

Okay, folks... Strap yourself in cos we're going on a helluva ride!

This one is a doozy! It's got everything you could hope for in an adventure ride. It's got twists and turns, false claims and weird science. It's got insults and lies and, best of all, MAGIC!!!
(It also has a shit load of links and screenshots so bear with me),

I'm also not the first person to blog about this.

There have been quite a few others as concerned as I am including @EmmelinePeaches and her great blog, @DangerousLilly in her Tumblr, and @cbpolis who uses her blog on this topic to show how and where you can complain.

But now... Let the ride begin!!

By now, if you're a follower of mine on Twitter, you're probably aware of the company "Use to Believe" and their magic wonder lubricant, ProLube. I was alerted to it by a good friend and gorgeous sex worker @NtyNikki and, after having a look at the website and reading it all for myself, I decided to take to the mean streets of Twitter and use my connections within the sex industry world, the sex blogger world and the science world to question, investigate and highlight the very big concerns I have about this product.

But first, if you're not aware... Let me tell you about ProLube...

<insert sarcasm font and put on your tin foil hats>

ProLube is so amazing that you won't even be able to believe how amazing it is unless you use it. It will totally science the hell out of your vag. So much so that one application will have you lubricated all day and, just a mere ten hours after that you'll be way horny and aroused as fuck because our magic lube is also a magic-lady-hornifier. Ooh and it will totally clear up your pimples and that nasty vagina-smelling vagina smell girls have. It will make all your period cramps totally gone - except for the fact that you shouldn't use it during your period - and, most super awesomely and magically of all, it will protect against STIs including HIV (but only if you use a condom.... and, like, if you do get HIV or something while using it then it's totally the condoms fault and you should sue the condom company). And it absolutely, totally, 100% works. Honest! I mean sure, there are no clinical trials or evidence or independent testing or scientific backings or any of that pesky “proof” people like to go on about because that's unnecessary and anyway, for safety reasons we decided not to do any tests. You just have to use it to believe it. But no, I'm not going to tell you what's in it. You're far too dumb to understand how the ingredients will work anyway, and, like, you totally wouldn't believe it anyway. It's like magic.

Seriously. You cannot make this shit up.

Out of all the strange claims and bizarre logic and weird science, one thing this dude has correctly surmised is that I am not a scientist. He's right. I'm not. I have a pretty crap brain for it actually... So, when he finally (after days of being asked by many people) posted this link to the "Science" and told us that it was “too advance” I agreed.

Although, as you can see, he underestimated the folks of Twitter... And also my gorgeous friend who shall henceforth be referred to as Bec the Sweary Science Bitch - @bklistingblog - (seriously, she's awesome. Think SciBabe with a Mauritian tilt and an obsession with Star Trek). Bec is not a nuff brain like me. She is a certified, legit, all powerful sciencer with bachelor degrees in Science, Biomedical Science and Health Science. She is a clinical innovation specialist with a focus on global health and microbiology and is an all round smart cookie who knows her shit when it comes to the science of germs and diseases and how all that shit works.

So I sent it to her.

After she finished laughing and asking me “what the fucking fuck, is this dude actually serious, holy fuck what?” She sent me a tell-me-like-I'm-five summary.

For the TL;DRs – It's bad science. It makes no sense. It's guesses at best, and lies at worst... Oh, and according to a couple of other sciencer Tweeps who read it too, a lot of it also seems to have been stolen from other writers, cut and edited, and then pasted together with perhaps ProLube itself.

For the rest, here are the screenshots of her awesome sciencey summary and notes to the author of it:

But enough of the science for now. We have already established I am not a scieney scientist, but something I am, and something I am very proud of being, is a sex worker. Yeah, it's been a while since I've done a job, but that doesn't matter. In my head and my heart I will always be a sex worker.

I am also a sexpert. I research, write, talk about and educate on sex, sexuality, sexual practices and sex work and one of the things that has really bugged me about this whole crazy ride through Lube Town is this company's hijacking of the Red Umbrella symbol and the incredibly ignorant and condescending marketing towards sex workers.

For those who are unaware, the red umbrella is an international symbol of sex worker solidarity and respect. It is special. It is important. And it is ours.

What this person (or persons... who knows how many whackjobs are involved in this scheme) fails to understand, and refuses to acknowledge, is that sex workers not only don't need this help, they also do not want it. Outside sources (read: people not associated in any way with sex work) who claim to want to help, protect and save sex workers are uniformly rejected and avoided, and often hated, by sex workers. They have no knowledge of our work, what we do, how we do, or why we do it. They have assumptions and guesses based on propaganda and whorephobia and, 99 times out of 100, they get it all dreadfully wrong.

This was evident when Mr ProLube was asked why he was marketing to sex workers. His reply? Basically, because sex workers have lots of sex with random people, they don't know who, or what infections, said random people might have.

Well duh. That's not fucking rocket science. But, the thing is, we already know this, buddy. We aren't fucking idiots.

The fact of the matter is that sex workers have one of the lowest rates of STIs than ANY OTHER DEMOGRAPHIC.
Do you know why this is?
Because sex workers are very fucking aware of the risk associated with the work they do and take many many precautions against this. Sex workers are masters of condoms and masters of STI spotting. They can tell the difference between a milk spot and a genital wart. Between eczema and herpes. They can tell if that crusty shit on a penis is just that the dude hasn't washed properly, or if he has gonorrhoea. They. Know. Their. Shit. They are regularly tested and regularly updating their knowledge on all thing sexual health. Because of this, sex workers are the first people who will jump up and down with damn good authority and tell you there is no way, without any proof, scientific data, clinical trials and independent testing and reviews, that they will believe your lube can prevent HIV and other STIs, or waste their well-earned money buying it to find out.

And what about sex workers in countries and places where the education on STIs and protection may not be as prevalent as it is in Westernised places like Australia and the UK etc? 

Well they are precisely the people who need to be warned against this stuff. These are women (yes I know not all sex workers are women but this is marketed as a female lubricant) who will listen to this woo-science and believe it. These are women who will stick this lube inside them and believe they are safe from disease. These are the women who will die because of this false advertising and irresponsible bullshit.

Something sex workers will also tell you, and everyone else they can get within earshot, is that despite your insistence that it's true, and despite your pretty little web page telling us so, there is absolutely NO CURE FOR HERPES!

Yes, you heard me right, folks. Mr ProLube also has a product that he claims (again without any proof or science backing or trials) will cure herpes.

He says someone he knows used it once and their herpes magically disappeared and they were cured (but for best practices you should apply thrice).

This is impossible. There is no cure for herpes. There just isn't. There are creams and pills and stuff that can help lessen your outbreaks and maybe even prevent you from getting an outbreak at all... But there IS NO CURE. The herpes virus is with you for life. It is highly contagious and completely incurable.

The fact that this company is making these outrageous claims is worse than just irresponsible. It's deadly. I urge every single one of you reading this blog to report them. Not just to Twitter, because although that may disable a platform of theirs it won't actually stop them from selling their nasty magical lie lube, but to the relevant authority in your country. The TGA. The FDA. Even The ACCC or relevant Consumer Affairs board in your country.

Oh, don't you worry, Mr ProLube. That is exactly what I will do. Because this shit is bad. And, quite frankly, I'd like to see it die a horrible death before someone who believes their lies does.

Review - The Womanizer

I love new toys! I love new designs! And I absolutely love new toys with new designs that step outside the box...  So... Let's talk about this new product that's been doing the rounds as the Latest-And-Greatest-Most-Unique-Vibrator-Ever-Made-Absolutely-Guaranteed-To-Make-You-Orgasm-Every-Time wonder toy: The Womanizer. 

I've seen the advertising for this toy, I've read the marketing, I've seen the testimonials and the rave reviews. They claim this toy will give you guaranteed orgasms. Not only that, but if you buy it directly from the Womanizer website they offer you a GUARANTEED ORGASM OR YOUR MONEY BACK!! Now I don't need to tell you that's a hell of a claim to make, and one that set my curiosity into overdrive.

The first thing I noticed about this toy was the fact that it doesn't look like any vibrator I've ever come across before. The only way to describe what it looks like is to compare it to those lights doctors use to check your ears, albeit one that Barbie has got to with her Bedazzler and trusty “what chicks like” handbook.

It comes in a variety of pretty colours and patterns, incorporating pinks and blues and leopard print and even Swarovski crystals on one of them. If sparkle and bling are your thing, this toy was made for you.

It has a super sturdy and discreet case to store it in (imagine a heavy duty, zippered sunglasses case), and comes with the handbook, a USB charger and a spare “tip”. 

So just what is so special and unique about this toy? What is it that sets it apart from just about every other clitoral stimulator in the world?
Well that's actually kind of a cool thing. Whereas most vibrators rely on direct stimulation to the clitoris via vibrations, this works differently. This toy works by stimulating the clitoris without even really touching it at all! I know right? What does that even mean??

Well here's the thing, the tip bit that I mentioned comes with a spare, is like a little cap you place over your clitoris, and then, when the toy is on, it works with this sort of gently humming and sucking mechanism that stimulates the nerves and the area around the clitoris and thus brings you to orgasm.

Now I have to say I was sceptical. Like I said at the start, I really like a good strong buzz to get my motor running and simple hand tests with this toy didn't seem to cut the mustard. Like yes, sure, I could feel it sucking on my finger tip and gently buzzing, but it just didn't seem to have the oomph I usually rate so highly. It was also a little bit loud when turned up high and I thought with the gentleness of it and the noise on top of that I would probably get distracted too easily and it would be a fail... But in the name of science I took the plunge and brought it to bed with me.

Let me just say this. I ALWAYS recommend testing the buzz etc of a toy before you buy it because it's important to know just how strong or weak or hard or soft it will be... But in the case of the Womanizer this tip kinda goes out the window. The feeling of it on your clitoris, versus the feeling of it on your fingers, is so different I can't really describe it.

The other thing that surprised me was as soon as you have it over your clitoris and the tip is sealed, you can hardly hear it.

This thing is deceptively strong. But in a totally different way! It's hard to really explain how, but I'll try it with one of my famous analogies. Have you ever had a mozzie bite that you can't itch directly because it kind of hurts, but if you itch around it it feels better? This is kind of like that, without the hurt. It really is kind of remarkable. To every girl who has ever written me a letter asking me how they can get that super buzz feeling without the pressure or direct contact with an over-sensitive clitoris... This is for you. It's gentle enough that it won't cause any stress or pressure to your most sensitive bits, but it works in such a way that the whole area of your clitoris is stimulated and aroused. I was able to bring myself to orgasm every time I used it, and yes, even made myself have a couple of multiples as well. This (multiple orgasms) is something I'm pretty good at doing anyway though, so I'm not going to say it will work as well for everyone.

It has six speed settings, but no rhythms or pulses, and it's so easy to use with a little “on” button and a big jewelled button to push through the speeds. It's also pretty easy to clean too. The silicone tip is removable for easy cleaning and it comes with a spare just in case. The toy itself isn't waterproof so don't run it under water to clean it.

I will say, however, there are a few things I'm not loving about this toy.

Firstly the way it looks. This is just personal and of course everyone is different, but I just think it looks tacky. I'm not into bling or pink or things that look like they came from the Barbie Dreamhouse and this is all those things wrapped up in one. Even the ones that aren't pink have that “girly” look to them and I wonder if it will appeal to anyone over the age of 30.

Secondly I don't like the name. Not only because every time I read it I start singing Britney in my head, but because of the negative connotations around the word “womanizer”. Women are constantly told to avoid players and womanizers. They're bad for us. For our self esteem. For the sisterhood... And so I cringe a little.

The final thing I'm not a big fan off is the fact that once it's in place and sealed and the buzz is going you can't move it. If you do you break the seal and the intensity goes away. I felt a little bit stiff using it for the first few times and I really can't imagine using it as a clitoral stimulator during sex as there would be far too much concentration on keeping it in place and not enough on the actual enjoyment. But again, that's just me.

Overall I really rate this toy. I highly recommend it to women who are curious about sex toys but don't want one that looks and feels too confronting. I know many women find a direct buzz on their clitoris far too much to bear too and this eliminates that completely.It's cute and pretty and actually works, so if you're into cute and pretty, I think you'll love it.

Quite a few people have mentioned the price to me, as it is one of the most expensive toys on the market right now and have asked if I think it's worth it. To that I say, for the right person, yes, for a number of reasons. The main one being the amazing ability it has to stimulate you quite vigorously without being vigorous itself. If you feel like you're too sensitive for direct clit stimulation, but really want to experience the tingling sensations of a good clitoral orgasm, then I definitely would suggest giving this one a go. Yes it's expensive, but I don't think it's a rip-off.

For it's innovation, uniqueness and what I believe could be a revolution in more women learning how to pleasure themselves, I give this toy a 7/10. It loses points for tackiness and not being able to be taken into water.

For the best priced Womanizer's in Australia, you can buy them HERE!

Until next time,

Happy Buzzing, my friends!

Review: Permission 4 Pleasure Box Set.

DISCLAIMER:

Morgana Muses; the owner, producer, writer and star of Permission 4 Pleasure films is my friend. In fact, she is one of the very best friends I have ever had. We met just as her journey was starting to blossom and I have watched her grow into the amazing, award-winning, much sought after feminist pornographer you see today. Her most recent award being the winner of Heartthrob of the Year at the 2015 Feminist Porn Awards.

I must also mention that I was involved with one of the films I am reviewing here, as a script consultant, and have spent many nights gas-bagging on the phone about scenes and upcoming ideas and projects, and always screeching with laughter, because we are so very funny together. Seriously. We should have our own show.

All that being said, I will be as objective and as neutral in this review as I can possibly be. Enjoy, and never forget to give yourself permission for pleasure. You're worth it.

Permission 4 Pleasure Box Set - A Review

Morgana Muses is an incredible woman who, in her late 40s, decided that being an unhappy wife and the mother of two gorgeous girls was not enough to keep her fulfilled. Her children were grown and almost ready to begin their lives away from the nest, her marriage was one of constant second guessing and depression and she wondered to herself “is this it?”

Taking an almighty plunge, Morgana left her life as “suburban housewife” and stepped into a world of erotic storytelling, freedom of expression and pornography... And she hasn't looked back. Her films follow this journey of awakening telling everyone, women, men, young and old, allow yourself to enjoy, express and indulge yourself. Give yourself Permission for Pleasure.

Winning numerous awards, including at the Good For Her Feminist Porn Awards, the CineKink film festival and being featured in international film festivals in Berlin, Paris and New York, Morgana is the new kid on the block making waves with her fantastic message.

Duty Bound

Winner Petra Joy Award 2012. Selected for Cinekink NYC 2014. Nominated Feminist Porn Award 2014

This is Morgana's first film. It is only a very short vignette (four minutes) but it encompasses a lifetime of emotion. An erotic tale of desire and the search for self, an awakening of passion and the epitome of what Permission 4 Pleasure is all about, all set to a gorgeous erotic film of mostly black and white.

I love this film. I love it for its message, for it's beauty. It's not a horny film. It's not porn in the sense most people think about, but that's the point. Everything we are taught by mainstream media about sex, pleasure and sensuality all fits into a neat little box. But desire is not something only one box can hold and it's time to speak to the many who prefer life outside that box.
Morgana Muses is that storyteller. And boy does she do it well.

New Tricks

This film is probably my least favourite of the lot. It has some amazing potential and would be really interesting to see her maybe re-do it now that her experience has grown.

The theme of this stays true to the running theme of P4P and is based on those ridiculous “How to Be a Proper Wife” handbooks from the 1950s.

You know the ones. Full of rules about ladies being seen and not heard and living life to fulfil the whims of their husbands.

Taking the rule book and twisting it to an erotic theme is not only clever, it's a great reflection on the life Morgana left and the one she has subsequently created.
My issue with the film is that I found the scenes (especially the first one) to be far too long and rather stagnant. There's not a lot of camera changes and I found the couple performing in the first scene to be as stagnant as the shots. Some more noise, some movement and some close up action would have jazzed it up a bit. It kind of looked and felt like they were mostly going through the motions rather than absolutely enjoying each other, which I reckon would have really improved it.

The second scene, the four girl orgy, was definitely better. These girls are very obviously enjoying themselves and each other. There's some of the most natural and body-shaking orgasms I've seen in recent years and you truly get a sense of connection, friendship and lust with these women. There's laughter and conversation and a real bond you can feel through the screen.

Again it probably could have been shorter, but it was definitely enjoyable to watch.

Music Box

Honourable Best Mention Cinekink 2014. Nominated for Feminist Porn Awards 2014. Selected Berlin Porn Festival 2014.

Starring internationally acclaimed, award winning feminist porn star Zahra Stardust this is another great film in which Morgana uses her real life experience to translate into art.

It's the story of a woman packing her bags as she reflects on who, what and where she is in life.
The discovery of an old music box sets her imagination and passion flaring and we see a glimpse into the mind of a woman desperate to break free of the bonds of normality and to be swept up into a dance of erotic freedom and self expression.

Showcasing her magnificent pole dancing skills as well as her very erotic and sexy self-pleasuring techniques, Zahra shows us what real sexual freedom can feel like.

I think the only think I don't like about this film is the fact that Zahra wears a full face mask throughout a lot of it and I personally do not like them. I understand the concept and why they chose to use the mask, we all wear masks, we are all Morgana inside at one stage or another in our lives, but for me personally I find them a bit weird. It's a mark of how good the film is that, even faced with something I usually find quite confronting and scary, I was still turned on and enjoyed watching.

A Call For Help

Selected Berlin Porn Film Festival 2014. Selected Cinekink 2015.

This is my favourite out of the whole box set. It could be because this is the film I helped work on, but I really do think it's more than that.

This film was definitely a step outside the box. This film is basically a comedy. Yes, you heard right, comedy porn.

And it works! It's funny! It's erotic. It tells a story. It's definitely something I am very proud to have worked on but I am even more proud of Morgana for creating this idea and concept and then being able to pull it off successfully.

This film tells the story of Rebecca who is trying very very hard to masturbate herself to climax.

We've all been there. Whatever you try, whatever you use, you just can't reach that peak. Frustrating!! So Bec decides to put a call out to her friends to help.

The film then follows her friends, via three short vignettes, who are all in their own erotic entanglements and unable to really help... Or are they?

Of the three middle stories, two of them have been recently selected to be played in international festivals.

Picnic Outside

Probably the weakest of all the vignettes, this one is a sensual scene of outdoor loving. There isn't a lot of comedy nor explicit sex in this scene, which is one of the reasons why I think it's the weakest, but the photobombing cat walking through centre screen at one stage certainly lightened it up.

As I mentioned this one is far less explicit than any of the others, but there are a couple of moments of erotic connection between the couple and that is quite lovely.

Happy Birthday Mistress - Selected for Nachtschatten BDSM/Fetisch Film Festival, Germany

Professional Dominatrix, Domina Vex, shows us how a Mistress expects to be treated on her birthday. With spanking and flogging and wrapping and even balloon popping, this small scene is abundant with fetishes without being overwhelming. The pure enjoyment on her face as she plays with her slave and celebrates her birthday is one of the reasons I love this scene. It is a joy to be allowed a glimpse into her dungeon and an honour to share her birthday treat.

The Mechanic - Nominated for Feminist Porn Award 2015

I love this scene. It's funny, it's sexy, it's erotic and it definitely shows us why Morgana is getting a reputation as having one of the “prettiest gineys in porn”.

When she takes her car to the mechanic he definitely gets to have a thorough look under the hood and gives a whole new meaning to the words “Drive Shaft”.

There is so much raw energy and erotic passion in this scene that you feel like you need to wind the windows down a little bit to reduce some of the steam.

The film wraps up like it begins, with colour, humour and a sense of real enjoyment by all who were involved. And that's the sense I get from almost all of her films. A real connection between the actors and the screen. A feeling of pleasure and friendship and of the bonds we create when we open ourselves up to erotic experience.

This box set is the start of what I know is going to be a long and successful journey for my wonderful friend. The accolades she is receiving from industry professionals around the globe are those often saved for veterans of the field. That these praises are coming so soon and in such volume for a relative new beginner is a testament to her vision, her hard work and her passion to make wonderful films and educate the world on living their own erotic truths.

She is an inspiration to so many and someone I am proud to know both personally and professionally.

The box set is available to buy from here and from there you can follow and stay informed about all the new adventures she is taking this year.

Why can't you just be a MOTHER??

I am about to do something I never in a million years thought I would ever do. Ever. I am about to stick up for Kim Kardashian. I know right. What the fuck?

I will admit it was only about a year or so ago that I found out exactly what a Kardashian was. Seriously. I thought it was a clothing line or a dog breed or something to do with Paris Hilton when I first heard the name. I don't follow celebrity news, I don't read or buy trashy magazines, and I have no interest in watching Entertainment Tonight or any of those things. So yeah. I didn't know who she was or why she was famous or even THAT she was famous. But I digress.
The second thing I am about to do that I never thought I would is to use a Kardashian in the same breath as feminism. I know. Strap yourself in... This IS going somewhere I promise.

I have (apparently) odd views of feminism. You see, I think of feminism as a thing where women can choose to be and do anything they put their minds to. Whether they decide to be a sex worker or a brain surgeon, if they have made the choice to be who they want to be, good on them. Power to you! Yeah sisterhood! I put “apparently” in brackets because I couldn't tell you the number of times I have been told that I am not a feminist because of the work I do, or I am just some silly little brainwashed thing who has been tricked into thinking I'm making my own mind up but really I am just a product of false consciousness and must be saved. Yawn. Yeah, whatever.

So, back to Kim Kardashian. She recently published a photograph of herself online. It's a pic of her in a pretty small leotard, posing butt-popped in the mirror. It's an okay picture. She has a fantastic booty. And, considering Kim Kardashian is famous for being famous and her butt is one of her most famous assets, I say whatever. Enjoy. Wish I had a butt like that.

Enter moral crusader and saver of women and identifier of all things feminist and otherwise, Mia Freedman.

Sitting up on her morally perfect high horse she writes of this picture “Are you a Mother or a Porn Star?” and then goes on to not only shame and ridicule the photograph but deem her some sort of bad mother because, god forbid, she has a body she is proud of and wants to show it off.

Well here is a big hearty fuck you, Mia. Who died and pronounced you god of motherhood and what mothers should do?

I bet you a hundred bucks if it was a picture of a woman posing post baby showing stretch marks or wobbly bits, Mia would declare it “brave” and “beautiful”. If it was a woman of plus size wearing a bikini and posing sexily Mia would post a blog on how wonderful it is that women are loving their bodies... But for some reason this offends her. She talks of the “whip lash” she got from looking at the booty pic and then a pic of Kim's new baby basically saying that, to her, a woman must be one thing once she has a child: A mother. A demure and pure and non sexual thing without any thoughts or ideas of personality beyond that of motherhood.

She goes on to deem the photograph “desperate and sad” because, you know, someone who is famous for having a body like that and showing that they still have a body like that after having a baby is somehow going against what we all know the Kardashians to stand for? Um... No.

You know what IS desperate and sad? The fact that Mia Freedman makes a hell of a lot of money shaming and judging other women for being whatever they choose, under the guise of some kind of concern for the children (won't somebody think of the children!!!!) and saying nothing of any real value or importance other than “look how morally upstanding I am and how shameful and wrong other people are who do things I deem shameful and wrong”.

The thing is, some mothers ARE porn stars. Some mothers are truck drivers. Some mothers stay at home and do the housework. There is nothing in the world wrong with a mother doing things other than being a mother. I know, from my own personal experience, if I was ONLY a mother I would go fucking crazy.

The biggest kick in the face really is the fact that unfortunately some mothers are not very good. Some mothers drink the grocery money and leave their children in dirty nappies and squalid conditions. Some mothers ship their kids off to everyone they can so they can have a social life and do not love or care for them the way they should. Some mothers abuse their children physically and sexually. This is where this outrage should be placed. Not on a picture of a woman (who happens to also be a mother) showing her butt off in a leotard.

I find the whole thing utterly repulsive. How dare you declare, in your oh-so-distateful way, that mothers cannot be sexy or proud of their sexuality. How dare you slut-shame. And, more importantly, how dare you make me get so pissed off I end up writing a blog in defence of a Kardashian! How very dare you!

(Because I have no intention of giving her any more traffic I have not posted a link to the offending blog here. If you want to see it, Google is your friend... But I won't lead you there.)

Video response with Angry Aussie to Caroline Norma's piece in the age where she calls for the re-criminalisation of sex work and refers to "Prostituted Women" being exploited and how bad "pimps" are...

Video: What do Women Want in the Bedroom?

Chantelle Austin and I discuss what it is women are really after in the bedroom. And what men can do to help them achieve it...

Why Jackie O is Worse than Vile Kyle

A lot has been written about Vile Kyle and his revolting attitude to women, but from what I've found (and believe me, I've looked) not much has been said on this topic about the other person who sits behind that microphone, Jackie O. So I'm going to do that right here and now.

Over the course of the last few months I have found Jackie O to be even more disgusting than Kyle. Yes, you read that right. I really do.
Why, you ask?

Because at least Kyle is consistent in his mysoginy and rudeness. At least he is open and upfront in his vitriol. As disgusting, rude and cruel as I think he is, there's no surprises when he says what he says, just surprise he's still given the air-time in which to say it. But Jackie O is, in my opinion, even worse than that. Kyle is a bully, sure, but she is something worse than that. She is the silent and dangerous companion to all bullies. Jackie O is an enabler.

Think of the school playground where a bully is picking on a kid. Now think of the Crabbe and Goyle type people that stand around sniggering and egging them on. That's how and why the bully is effective at intimidation and how they get away with it.

If those people were to stand up and say, "No, this is wrong." the bully would have no-one to "perform" to. No-one to "impress". And we all need to remember that bullying is NOT impressive. It is cowardly and cruel and thrives on complacency and ignorance.

And here we come to Jackie O.
When Kyle went on his "fat slag" rant she just sat there. She "tut tutted" and then she laughed a bit and that was it.
When I read the transcripts and listened to the podcast I was angry! So fucking angry. But at her more than him!
Like I've said, I'm pretty aware of what a pig he is. He doesn't "shock" me when he opens his mouth, he just confirms what I've always known about him. But Jackie O is another story.

How dare she just sit there and let him say those degrading, debasing and demoralising things about another woman. Especially after millions of Australian women jumped to her defence during both the "returning to work" scandal in which Annette Sharp from The Daily Telegraph wrote an open letter questioning Jackie O's choice to return to work so soon after the birth of her baby, and the "feeding while crossing" controversy where she was called a bad mother by Prue Goward for feeding her baby a bottle as she crossed a zebra crossing. (Have just spent over an hour searching for the original articles to link here to no avail! Just a million other articles referencing the two. have they been deleted??)

When these articles came out I defended her without question. I defended her right to work or not work as she chose fit, knowing that women are capable of making their own decisions about how they feel and when they are ready to return to work after having a baby. I felt for her when she broke down in tears on her show and tried to explain why she had returned to work and again when she felt forced to answer why she'd fed her baby that way.

I actually don't think she needed to do that (justify herself), because I don't think it's any of my business how long she has off after her baby was born and because I don't believe her child was endangered in any way at all.
And because I am sick to death of women being women's worst critics! I defended her because no mother should ever be made to feel guilty about being a mother, especially by another mother!

But I'm through defending her any more. She handed in her "woman" card the minute she sat passively by and let him say the things he said, and therefore deserves none of my respect.

I have to wonder, though, why does she let him get away with it? Aren't they supposed to be equals on that show? Why can Kyle turn around and say something as vicious and revolting as threatening to "hunt down" the "fat slag" that happened to write an article about the ratings (or lack thereof) on his new TV show, and she think it's okay to just sit there and laugh?
Is she frightened of him perhaps?  Frightened to stand up to him and put forward her own opinion?
Maybe she agrees. But then, considering Kyle has reduced her to tears on more than one occasion by calling her fat, I really doubt that is the case. 

I wonder if Jackie O knows just how many people (not just women) would stand up and applaud her if she was to once stand up and say No, Kyle. It is unacceptable. Does she not realise the power she holds in her hands?
Right now she is giving him permission to be a chauvanist pig. By not standing up and saying enough is enough she is basically saying it's perfectly okay for him to make comment on the size of her thighs, or baby belly or anything that he thinks is physically wrong with her. She is giving all the young boys who listen to the show permission to judge women by the size of their bottoms. She is saying it's okay for women to be valued by what they look like and how much they weigh. And she is basically saying to all the girls that listen to her that their weight and what they look like is all they are worth and that it's perfectly okay for men to treat them that way. This is the lesson she is teaching to her daughter. 

But imagine what she could do for women and girls around the country who listen to her and look up to her by saying (as we all did when she was judged so harshly and cruelly) This Is Not Acceptable. I Refuse To Enable You Any More, Kyle.
Seriously! 

So yes, I think Jackie O is a silent, dangerous and toxic woman, giving the wrong message to males and females everywhere. 
I doubt she will read my little rant, and even if she does I doubt it will change anything, but I hope she does, and I hope she listens.
And I hope hope hope that the next Kyle and Jackie O story we hear is the one where Jackie O finally steps up to the plate, stops enabling his vileness and says enough!