Review - The Womanizer

I love new toys! I love new designs! And I absolutely love new toys with new designs that step outside the box...  So... Let's talk about this new product that's been doing the rounds as the Latest-And-Greatest-Most-Unique-Vibrator-Ever-Made-Absolutely-Guaranteed-To-Make-You-Orgasm-Every-Time wonder toy: The Womanizer. 

I've seen the advertising for this toy, I've read the marketing, I've seen the testimonials and the rave reviews. They claim this toy will give you guaranteed orgasms. Not only that, but if you buy it directly from the Womanizer website they offer you a GUARANTEED ORGASM OR YOUR MONEY BACK!! Now I don't need to tell you that's a hell of a claim to make, and one that set my curiosity into overdrive.

The first thing I noticed about this toy was the fact that it doesn't look like any vibrator I've ever come across before. The only way to describe what it looks like is to compare it to those lights doctors use to check your ears, albeit one that Barbie has got to with her Bedazzler and trusty “what chicks like” handbook.

It comes in a variety of pretty colours and patterns, incorporating pinks and blues and leopard print and even Swarovski crystals on one of them. If sparkle and bling are your thing, this toy was made for you.

It has a super sturdy and discreet case to store it in (imagine a heavy duty, zippered sunglasses case), and comes with the handbook, a USB charger and a spare “tip”. 

So just what is so special and unique about this toy? What is it that sets it apart from just about every other clitoral stimulator in the world?
Well that's actually kind of a cool thing. Whereas most vibrators rely on direct stimulation to the clitoris via vibrations, this works differently. This toy works by stimulating the clitoris without even really touching it at all! I know right? What does that even mean??

Well here's the thing, the tip bit that I mentioned comes with a spare, is like a little cap you place over your clitoris, and then, when the toy is on, it works with this sort of gently humming and sucking mechanism that stimulates the nerves and the area around the clitoris and thus brings you to orgasm.

Now I have to say I was sceptical. Like I said at the start, I really like a good strong buzz to get my motor running and simple hand tests with this toy didn't seem to cut the mustard. Like yes, sure, I could feel it sucking on my finger tip and gently buzzing, but it just didn't seem to have the oomph I usually rate so highly. It was also a little bit loud when turned up high and I thought with the gentleness of it and the noise on top of that I would probably get distracted too easily and it would be a fail... But in the name of science I took the plunge and brought it to bed with me.

Let me just say this. I ALWAYS recommend testing the buzz etc of a toy before you buy it because it's important to know just how strong or weak or hard or soft it will be... But in the case of the Womanizer this tip kinda goes out the window. The feeling of it on your clitoris, versus the feeling of it on your fingers, is so different I can't really describe it.

The other thing that surprised me was as soon as you have it over your clitoris and the tip is sealed, you can hardly hear it.

This thing is deceptively strong. But in a totally different way! It's hard to really explain how, but I'll try it with one of my famous analogies. Have you ever had a mozzie bite that you can't itch directly because it kind of hurts, but if you itch around it it feels better? This is kind of like that, without the hurt. It really is kind of remarkable. To every girl who has ever written me a letter asking me how they can get that super buzz feeling without the pressure or direct contact with an over-sensitive clitoris... This is for you. It's gentle enough that it won't cause any stress or pressure to your most sensitive bits, but it works in such a way that the whole area of your clitoris is stimulated and aroused. I was able to bring myself to orgasm every time I used it, and yes, even made myself have a couple of multiples as well. This (multiple orgasms) is something I'm pretty good at doing anyway though, so I'm not going to say it will work as well for everyone.

It has six speed settings, but no rhythms or pulses, and it's so easy to use with a little “on” button and a big jewelled button to push through the speeds. It's also pretty easy to clean too. The silicone tip is removable for easy cleaning and it comes with a spare just in case. The toy itself isn't waterproof so don't run it under water to clean it.

I will say, however, there are a few things I'm not loving about this toy.

Firstly the way it looks. This is just personal and of course everyone is different, but I just think it looks tacky. I'm not into bling or pink or things that look like they came from the Barbie Dreamhouse and this is all those things wrapped up in one. Even the ones that aren't pink have that “girly” look to them and I wonder if it will appeal to anyone over the age of 30.

Secondly I don't like the name. Not only because every time I read it I start singing Britney in my head, but because of the negative connotations around the word “womanizer”. Women are constantly told to avoid players and womanizers. They're bad for us. For our self esteem. For the sisterhood... And so I cringe a little.

The final thing I'm not a big fan off is the fact that once it's in place and sealed and the buzz is going you can't move it. If you do you break the seal and the intensity goes away. I felt a little bit stiff using it for the first few times and I really can't imagine using it as a clitoral stimulator during sex as there would be far too much concentration on keeping it in place and not enough on the actual enjoyment. But again, that's just me.

Overall I really rate this toy. I highly recommend it to women who are curious about sex toys but don't want one that looks and feels too confronting. I know many women find a direct buzz on their clitoris far too much to bear too and this eliminates that completely.It's cute and pretty and actually works, so if you're into cute and pretty, I think you'll love it.

Quite a few people have mentioned the price to me, as it is one of the most expensive toys on the market right now and have asked if I think it's worth it. To that I say, for the right person, yes, for a number of reasons. The main one being the amazing ability it has to stimulate you quite vigorously without being vigorous itself. If you feel like you're too sensitive for direct clit stimulation, but really want to experience the tingling sensations of a good clitoral orgasm, then I definitely would suggest giving this one a go. Yes it's expensive, but I don't think it's a rip-off.

For it's innovation, uniqueness and what I believe could be a revolution in more women learning how to pleasure themselves, I give this toy a 7/10. It loses points for tackiness and not being able to be taken into water.

For the best priced Womanizer's in Australia, you can buy them HERE!

Until next time,

Happy Buzzing, my friends!

Review: We-Vibe 4 Plus

If you haven't already figured it out, I love We-Vibes. Seriously. Every single We-Vibe product I have ever tried has, at one time or another, found pride of place in my top bedroom drawer. There was the We-Vibe 2 and then the We-Vibe 3 . I also had the pleasure of trialling their first solo play toy, the We-Vibe Thrill and, most recently, the We-Vibe 4. I also have in the wings (coming very soon) reviews of the We-Vibe Salsa, Tango and Touch which, like the Thrill, are solo toys... But the best, and probably the most exciting new version of the world's most favourite couple's toy is the We-Vibe 4+, which the awesome folk over at Sex Toys 24/7 gave me to try out.

To look at it it really isn't all that different to the We-Vibe 4. Same great, compact “c” shape, same matte silicone finish, same wireless charging capabilities, and the two motors on either end have the same awesome vibration and pulse settings (there are three speeds and five different rhythms programmed in, but keep reading to see what else it does). It's fully waterproof (although the remote is not), super easy to clean with a good toy cleaner and so quiet you wouldn't even know it was on if it's not touching you.

So, what's actually different about this toy that has the world (and me) in a bit of a spin?

Firstly, and this is completely aesthetic but cool to me, is that as well as the pink and purple colours of the We-Vibe 4, the Plus also comes in a cool gun-metal grey/black/blue (it's sort of a combination of all three) colour. 

And secondly, and most importantly, this toy comes with an app for your smart phone (bluetooth must be enabled to synch it)

“An app?” I hear you say. “What possible reason would a wireless, remote control toy need an app?”

Well, let me tell you.

The app (available for free from The Apple Store or Google Play) allows you to access five bonus pulse/buzz settings and has a sixth setting that allows you to program in your own settings. Yep. You heard me right. You can customise this toy to buzz and pulse in any combination/sequence you desire. You can change the speed of each motor independently (although I haven't figured out how to create two separate rhythm settings in each arm, so I'm not sure if you can or not) You can also use the app to search for tips and hints and suggestions on all the different ways you can use it, including anally, orally and as a penis stimulator. You can also set it to a timer! But probably the best and most awesome feature of this app is that you (or your partner) can access and control it from anywhere in the world!! Anywhere!! All you need is your toy's unique code which you can then send via text or email to anyone who has the app and give them control over the controls.

You could be in Sydney, and your partner could be in China and, with the use of modern technology, you can still play together! Seriously cool! It's particularly awesome for couples in long distance relationships or where one partner travels a lot. Seriously gives a whole new spin on the term phone sex! It's truly amazing!

The app will also tell you how much battery life you have left on the toy which is really handy - a few hours of charge should give you about three hours of continual play!

I know it might sound a bit fiddly and complicated, but it's actually not. This app is really user-friendly and simple to understand.

A few little glitches that I've found in my experiments with this toy are that you really need a good internet/wi-fi connection because every now and then the wireless connectivity can cut out and, every so often I found using the remote as well as the app seemed to cut the app off. Also it cannot be accessed by your partner without you giving “permission” via the invite app (which, once invited, gives you roughly 30 minutes to access it before the app connectivity shuts down) so it's not like you can wear it all day and they can randomly turn it on from their phone without you knowing. But these are really minor things considering the awesomeness of what this toy does and can do for couples living apart.

Seriously, gang. This is one toy every couple needs in their toybox! I give it a 9/10 because really the only thing it can't do is give you a hug, bring you a cup of coffee and tell you it loves you.

I seriously cannot WAIT to see what We-Vibe come up with next! Who knows. Maybe it will link to your coffee machine and develop a hug-and-love-you feature. (kidding. Mostly)
Until next time,

Happy buzzing, my friends... Wherever in the world you may be!

Tim Tam Slam! AKA Mouth-Gasm!! Yes, there is such a thing...

This is a video that I have wanted to do for ages and I finally got around to it with the help of my awesome mate and video blog partner, Angry Aussie.

So, for all my wonderful overseas friends and followers who have asked me (and my goodness there are a lot of you) what a Tim Tam is, and why I am always talking about them and what is so damn special about them... This is for you.

Enjoy!! I know I did!!

Sexy Costumes Are Sexy

@AngryAussie and I love to have a little fun with our vids... This time we roped in the delicious @ViolaTurtleDove to come play too!

The shop I work in has heaps of funky costumes and so we decided to show some of them off... And then we made a video!

Enjoy!!

Video: That's Not My Name. Parody Song

One of my gorgeous sex worker friends @HollyInAlbury (go follow her on Twitter, seriously!) has made an awesome pro sex work video.

I love this so much. It's fun and funny, but also has a really strong message.

Respect Sex Workers!!

Video: Blow Up Dolls are fun!

Blow-up dolls can be so much fun, and a little bit funny too.

Join AngryAussie, AIDzee and me as we look at some of the best ones!

Testing Testing 1 2 3...

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Video: What do Women Want in the Bedroom?

Chantelle Austin and I discuss what it is women are really after in the bedroom. And what men can do to help them achieve it...

Video: Men! Don't be Afraid of Sex Toys!

Another video of the gorgeous Chantelle Austin and I talking about sex toys and what it really means if she wants to bring one into the bedroom

Enjoy!

Video: Earth Shattering Orgasms...

(Oops! Totally posted the wrong video for this one! Haha. Let's try that again...)

One of mine and Chantelle Austin's Video Blog series for men on how to have better sex. This one has over 15,000 views!!

Lotta people wanna know how to orgasm properly! Enjoy!

Diary of an Aussie Call Girl

A few years ago, when Belle Du Jour's book and then the Billie Piper's TV show "True Confessions of a London Call Girl" came out, People Mag asked me to write my own version of a diary... So I chose one of the weekends that I am often the busiest and documented it...

Thursday 9am.

Wake up with loud buzzing in my ears. Don’t know what it is, but it’s bloody annoying! Pillow over my head works, but now I can’t breath properly.

Fuck it. May as well get up.

Open the window and the whining hum infiltrates my kitchen.

It hits me. I must have been living in a bubble this past month to forget what the date was.

That one time of year when the city becomes the ultimate bloke’s Mecca, and I get to spend the whole time in swanky, high-class hotels…

Grand Prix.

Call the agency. Am pretty much booked solid for the entire weekend, starting at 7pm tomorrow.

Friday 5pm

First client wants me to wear stockings and boots and bring toys.

Easy

Mirror check. Dressed and made up. Smooth and smelling gorgeous. I look fun and sexy, but definitely not trampy.

Perfect.

Lights off, Lock up, double check I have all I need, and I’m out.

7pm

Get to hotel, it’s one of my favourites, I don’t have to go to reception first.

Arrive at room and meet Roger. Business stuff out of the way I turn to him and smile.

“So, you like toys huh?”

“Yeah,” he says. “I love watching chick’s play with themselves.”

Awesome. I love these jobs.

I pull out my little black bag-o-tricks. “Would you like to choose one?”

He chooses the dolphin. They usually do.

A light purple vibrator with a thick shaft full of pearly beads that spin and twist inside it, and a small rubbery attachment shaped like a dolphin that buzzes and pulsates.

It’s a good choice.

Sitting on the bed facing him skirt pulled up, my stockings and boots still on, I start to play.

He’s watching intently. His hand wrapped around his own cock.

That turns me on a little more and I press at the buttons, making the beads spin faster and the little dolphin buzz. It feels fantastic and I push it deeper into me.

He’s pumping his cock nice and hard now, watching the slick vibe move in and out of me.

My body tenses up, and the delicious tingly orgasm waves over me.

I see him come too, moaning and shuddering in his armchair across the room.

Share a smoke and have a shower. Accept his thanks and a nice little tip.

Say goodbye. Sign out. Make way to lobby and car and to next job.

9pm

He’s an octopus. Hands all over me as I walk through the door.

“Just let me make this call,” I say through gritted teeth, swatting his hands away with what he thinks is a playful slap.

Sign in. Hardly hung up and he’s pulling me into the bedroom.

Okay fine. He wants it quick?

Clothes off, quick suck, straddle him, ride hard…

He comes.

He looks ready for sleep

Good.

Shower, dressed, sign out, say goodbye.

Oh, and look at the time! Still only 9:30pm, I’ve got time for a coffee.

10:30pm

A Bi-fantasy booking in a flash hotel, he musta been inspired by the Grid Girls at the GP.

Meet Veronica in the lobby and go up together.

Guy seems shy. Doesn’t know where to look. Poor thing.

Veronica calms him with a back massage.

He wants to watch us kiss, so we do.

I like working with Veronica, she seems to enjoy it as much as I do.

Her hands travel down my sides and the client moves over to watch us play.

Her breasts are small and firm and her nipples are hard in my mouth.

Her fingers are cool as she slides them into the warm wetness between my legs.

The client wants to fuck now, so Veronica obliges on all fours. Kissing me while he thrusts into her from behind.

They both come hard. I’m little envious.

Shower. Sign out. Say goodbye.

Veronica and I leave the lobby in opposite directions.

Midnight

On route to next booking the agency calls.

The client has cancelled but there’s another job waiting.

12:30am

Get to the hotel and go to reception. Hate that.

Client’s a normal looking guy in his 40s. He smells like car fumes, stale whiskey and cigarettes. 

He pours himself another drink, makes me a cup of tea and we sit on the sofa.

Grand Prix highlights on the telly. He’s really into it, telling me all about the race and his day at the track.

I relax back on the couch, my feet on his lap as he rubs them nicely.

Have been sitting on couch for almost 40 minutes. Explain to him our time is nearly over.

“Just call and extend,” he says. So I do.

Another whiskey, another cup of tea.

I offer a massage, he declines.

I offer to move into the bedroom, he declines.

“It’s not you,” he says. “I just want to hang out. Is that okay?”

“Absolutely,” I tell him, and settle back to watch Letterman.

3am

Why is it that the only thing to eat at this time of the morning is Maccas?

Finish my cheeseburger (leaving the pickles on the paper wrapping) and head off to next job.

3:30am

I think the guy is on coke or a pill or something. His eyes have that “I’ve been awake for three days look” and he can’t shut up about the damn Grand Prix.

The sex is awkward and jittery and he can’t really keep it up.

He doesn’t seem to notice though.

He finally comes through a hand job and, when I get back from the shower he’s fast asleep. I let myself out.

5am

Last job of the night, please, please let it be a good one.

Bill has just got back from a night out and is slightly wobbly on his feet.

In the bedroom he is having a hard time getting hard.

‘Can I go down on you?” He asks

His tongue is soft and warm and he laps at me eagerly. I lie back and enjoy it, letting the sensations wash over me.

I come nicely and he gives me a moment to recover while he gets himself a drink.

“Can I do it again?” He asks on his return.

I reply with a smile and lie back against the pillows.

What a perfect way to end the night.

7am

Finally home.

In my Jammies.

In my bed.

And of course, those bloody cars have just started up again.

Art Appreciation

I wrote this piece originally for Australian People magazine when I had my column "Sophie Loves Sex." This is it in its original form...  For the longer, more descriptive and even sexier version... Well, you'll just have to wait for my book to be published!

Enjoy! 

Simon was an artist who lived in a little upstairs studio in the city. Nearly the whole flat was covered in brightly coloured canvases, and easels containing half finished works.

“Do you like them?”

“Yes,” I said. “You’re very talented.”

“I’m getting a bit tired of the old canvas,” he said. “I really want to try painting on other mediums.”

“Like what?” I asked.

He paused for a minute, thinking. “Could I paint you?” Before I had a chance to respond he added, “I mean paint on you. Make you my canvas, I’ll use body paint.”

“Sounds like fun,” I said.

He led me to a table covered in a white sheet. I slipped off my clothes and lay on my tummy, my chin resting on my hands.

He dipped his hand into the paint. It was cold at first, making my body tense up and little goose-bumps appear, but after a few strokes I got used to it and began to enjoy it.

His hands smoothed the paint across my back, over my bottom and down my thighs, warm and strong.

After about twenty minutes he stopped and stood back to admire his work, pulling over a large mirror so I could see as well.

It was amazing. My back, all the way down to my knees, was covered in these bold shades of blue and purple and silver, all blending into each other to resemble a kind of magical stormy sky - the curves of my body complementing the swirling paint and adding depth and shadow to his work.

He walked around the table, inspecting it from all angles. “You are one sexy piece of art,” he said.

He pulled me back slowly til my feet were on the ground, my elbows still resting on the table, and I turned my head so I could see in the mirror.

He stepped out of his jeans, exposing his hard cock, and came up behind me. His hands slid up my body as he pushed into me, leaving a trail of slivery-purple up my belly, and over my breasts, his slippery fingers pinching at my nipples, making me push back harder onto him.

The paint from my back streaked over his chest and stomach as our bodies slid against each other and by the time we both came, in a slippery, paint-smeared heap, the magical storm had gone, replaced with a greyish mess.

After sponging each other off in a warm soapy shower we shared smoke and a glass of wine.

“I wish you’d taken a photo of it,” I said. “I would have loved a copy.”

“You were so sexy, I couldn’t help myself.” He reached over to a pile of small canvases and pulled one out.

It was a beautiful whirl of spirals and curls all blended together in different shades of green, and just looking at it turned me on again.

“As a reminder,” he said, handing it to me.

I still have it. I’m looking at it now. And considering the tingles I get when I do, it’s definitely still doing its job.

Why I Should Be On The Circle - Channel Ten

So by now a lot of you know I am pretty keen to get myself on The Circle as their resident sexpert. I think I would be a great asset to the show and think that I would fit right in with the gang too.

Why The Circle, you ask? Well there are a few reasons.

1. I think The Circle is great morning TV. It's fun, friendly, light-hearted and funny.

2. I think they could do with a bit more sex talk on the show. Not smut. Not porn. But sex talk.

3. Women love to chat about sex with their girlfriends, they really do, and I think The Circle would be a great forum for this.

The next, and probably most important part of this is, Why Me?
Well again, there are a few reasons.

1. I know my stuff.
I have been writing and talking about sex for over ten years. I am a published and popular writer on the subject and have a lot of contacts and networks within the world of sex.

2. I am articulate and educated.
I can speak well and intelligently and have a friendly and non-confronting nature. I am approachable and friendly and do not alienate people.

3. I am normal.
This may sound silly, but what I mean is, I am an average Australian woman. I am married with a child. I look like your everyday person. I have no fake anything and can relate to mums and women (proven with the many sex-based articles I write for Mother and Baby magazine). But most importantly I am real. I even have wobbles... But by goodness I am sexy!

4. I have an extensive sexpert resume that covers everything from running a brothel to writing for The Australian Sex Party. I have been a guest sex-presenter on radio and have written everything from erotic short stories to advice on talking to your kids about sex...

5. I have good interview, research and presenting skills and, to be honest, I think I'd look good on telly.
:-)

Of all my goals for 2012 this one and getting my book published are number 1.
Let's DO this funky thang!